I AM NOT HAPPY!!

i feel like shit.
this weekend just fucked me up. on friday everything was great, awesome if i might say so. we went to the beach. i was alittle tipsy after three shots of vodca (my belgium friend poured them so it was A LOT). i told all my friends that i thought they were super cool, and i insulted people that i like a little less.
but that was allright, i had fun. satureday we went to the mountains ling jiou san tempel. i had fun, until like often with these rotary events, i felt lost. as if i were the only one without a friend. alone and unatractive. then we got a paper that we had to sign, with rules for our trip, in one weeks time. it pissed me off. i don't really know what exactly was the most annoying part. but i felkt like punching someone in the gut. and today wasn't better. i felt like shit. i still feel like shit. i went gaming with a bunch of friends so i felt okay for a short amount of time. but still i feel like i'd rather not be feeling anything at all. i was fighting tears a bunch of times earlier today. i don't know what it is with me, but these rotary events always fuck me up. i think this is why i am scared of the trip. because i will be with everybody for ten fucking days.

FUCK FUCK FUCK
that is all i can say....
and now you will excuse me i have to feel a little more misserable...